11月11日
今天是很packed schedule的一天,早上和主任谈工作报告,现在不知道如何修改,Stuck住。所以来写日记。等一下是全校开会,之后是CCA训练。好吧,就利用这一点空闲时间写一下吧。
昨天很多人来聚会,累得后来去床上睡觉。下午的聚会蛮紧张一下,因为希望艳琼能被抓住,所以一直非常不自然,感觉真是很看不起自己。总之因为过度紧张,晚上的聚会一半的时候就跑去睡觉了。后来冲了凉想要直接睡过去,可是又饿得浑身消化了,心脏不断地抖动。后来才意识到,原来是饿了吧。。。结果跑去冰箱把煎的带鱼猛吃一通。。真是无语自己,不知道要到几时才能不在这种最basic的生理问题上跌跟头@_@
而且昨天下午聚会的时候觉得很想哭,很想走上信心之路,走上侍奉道路。不知道到底是自己乱想,还是真的有呼召?好像我太敏感,不是呼召也当成呼召?虽然曾经许愿,可是如果真的没有呼召,是不是不要去做?还是我应该求印证?还是时候没有到?唉,真是该在这件事上面猛力恳切祷告,持续祷告一直到有答复为止啊。。。只是自己太懒惰了,每天晚上赶快就睡下了,哪里有祷告的力气啊。。唉,现在真是混得非常悲惨,每天的精力仿佛都不够用的样子。
18 Apr
I call it Weaving maid because I still had the thought of becoming a clothes designer. However, the thought may change sometimes. I sway and do not think I wish to become one. However the name is also suitable for a life weaver isn't it. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Recently I feel rather down. Why my spirit is so low and full of sin. I just felt God is not pleased with me maybe. Is it because the Ma Ke Lou is not running any more? It is really hard to resume again. Once it is stopped. Only tears and sorry. I believe God can do bigger things. Recently a lot of black things around me. Sometimes it is my husband, he really like being trapped by devil. Not having good temper and also very mean. Not spiritual at all. I wish he can be nurtured in a good fellowship but still he refuse to go to one. I am not sure why Seng Kang Methodist give me a bad impression but I just cannot bear with it for long i think. I felt bad when...
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